Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I know it's Negative....Well you are WRONG!!

So after going through our Embryo Transfer, we were at Thanksgiving 2014. It was nice to have the Holidays to take our minds off things and spend fun time with family. My mom and I even went Black Friday shopping which we havent done in YEARS. We quickly realized why we havent gone in years...insanity. Anyway, Our 10ish days of waiting weren't bad for me at all....until we got to the day before the test. I woke up on Wednesday the 4th with cramps and just feeling very yuck. I get very specific back pains before my time of the month and here they were rearing their UGLY head. I got so mad. I literally spent the whole day in absolute tears feeling so discouraged because I knew that mean that once again I wasnt pregnant. My poor husband was at the Fire Station that day/night and I'm sure he felt every bit as hopeless and helpless as I did but he did a wonderful job consoling me over the phone. I had lots of sweet support from friends and family that day through messages, calls, and texts and I assured each one that I was about to start my period and there was no way I was pregnant. The next day I awoke in probably the worst mood of my life. I almost didnt even go to ART to take the blood test because I felt it was a waste of time and gas. But we did go up there and I told the nurse that I was feeling crampy and she told me she was sorry and was super sweet about it. The rest of the day was pretty much a blur. I pretty much laid around and Renan did too. We were waiting on the call from the nurse and even though I knew the outcome, the wait was still excruciating. Around 2pm in the afternoon my phone rang. I yelled for Renan to come in the bedroom and he raced back there. As he stood in the doorway, I answered the phone and Janet, our IVF nurse asked how I was doing. HA! I said, "well, not great because I'm pretty sure you are telling me it's negative." Janet said, "Well, you are wrong, you have a POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST!" I just looked at Renan, clapped my hand over my mouth as tears sprung to my eyes. He ran over to me and grabbed me and I just nodded Yes. I was in utter shock. She went through my HCG levels with me and told me my due date was August 14th. When I hung up Renan wrapped me in the biggest hug I have ever gotten and we just laughed and cried in the kitchen together. It was such a surreal moment to finally after all the tests, drugs, injections, doctors, MONEY, to be pregnant. I was also a little mad at myself because even though I talked a big game about trusting the Lord and knowing it was in His timing. When it came down to it, i was a big brat not listening to Him once again. Daily, Daily, Daily struggle. Work in progress :) We ended up decided to "fib" to our parents about the outcome of the test because we just HAD to see their faces when we told them. When they called, I tried to sound down and told them it was what i had expected. That evening we went to their houses with Benjamin in tow with at sign around his neck that said I'm gonna be a Big Brother! We let him run into my parents house and even after reading it, it took my mom a few seconds to realize and then she cussed me! hahahahahaha!! Priceless!


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